If you’re a woman in the workplace, chances are you’ve got the message that people think it’s a good thing to write “like a man”. No more niceties, just be terrifyingly terse. That’s how you make a good impression and get things done.
To which I say: meh.
Look, when women try out writing “like a man”, it’s for good reason. We know we get judged differently. If we’re friendly, it’s fluffy. If we’re brusque, it’s bitchy. So we end up sweating over every word and coming up with rules to sound more (allegedly) manly: don’t ask how they’re doing; don’t say ‘just’; don’t ask if it makes sense.
But writing like an emotionless machine won’t make gendered judgement go away. And, as we’ve argued before, personality policing is pointless.
So forget long lists of rules that fuel even more overthinking. If you really want to make your writing sound clear and confident, you’ve got to get yourself into character as a clear and confident writer. These tips can help you do that.
(And yes, men can use them too.)
First, move out of your own way
It’s my actual job to care about the words that I use but I’m still not going to spend my one wild and precious life rewriting the opening of an email five times to get the right level of cool, calm and just casual enough.
Want to briefly ask them how they’re doing? Fine. Want to skip straight to the point? Also fine.
Give it about as much attention as you pay to opening pleasantries, which is very little at all.
Plan what you’ll say, not how you’ll say it
You don’t need to sweat over this; it only takes a few minutes to map out your main point.
One technique we use in training is to write a haiku that sums up what you want to say. With just 17 syllables to play with, you have to be really strict about what makes it in.
That’s your brief now – and you’ll likely write something that’s shorter and sharper than it would have been without one.
Start at the end
You spent years and years writing essays, papers and reports that started with the background and built up to a conclusion. But in business, people rarely care about the process more than the result.
So if you really want to show you know your stuff and make sure people read it, give them what they want up front.
That’s especially important if you’re writing something difficult or uncomfortable. No-one’s suggesting you brutally rip off the band-aid, but dancing around the point has never made a reader feel better.
Forget sounding smart
The harder you try to sound sophisticated, the less people trust you to know what you’re talking about. (Here’s just one bit of research to prove it.)
Whatever you’d say to a colleague, client or customer over the phone or to their face is also fine on paper. Including the words we use to soften up blunt phrases, like ‘just’.
And there you have it. Not one banned word or phrase and no rigid templates. Because when you’ve nailed down your tone, you rarely have to think about those. Or worry about what people think you have in your pants.
(Obligatory “we do that for businesses too” link here. Thanks for indulging me.)
Written by Alex Goldstein, Creative Director at Definition